Tag Archives: single parent

A Means To Minimizing Jobless Embitterment

As one of North America’s 13 million jobless, or one of the world’s 200+ million, I can identify with both the ease and allure of embitterment.

What I can not attest to is whether it’s worse — more painful — to be jobless in an affluent country like the United States, or in an economically impoverished country.

My hunch is that joblessness, like poverty, is experientially worse in an affluent, so-called developed country like the United States.

Why?

A common malady of many well-to-do and religiously minded people (the two are more often than not one and the same, especially among Christian America) is a seemingly ageless assumption and stereotyping that associates misfortune, illness, unemployment or under-employment, and welfare with either or both laziness or divine retribution (aka, getting what you deserve) for an immoral life.

Combine this assumption with the everyday and all-day exposure by the economically struggling and politically disenfranchised to what appears to be everyone-else-but-you prosperity and privilege, and it’s easy to understand the psychological pain, as well as how the green-eyed envy monster transfigures into a blazing red devil of frustration, anger and resentment.

Of course, it’s of some sick and sad kind of comfort knowing one’s not alone. Today’s NPR newscast announced Kellogg laid off 7-percent of its workforce, or 2,000 employees. Three friends of mine, all of whom are highly educated (MSC, PhD, JD), highly experienced professionals, likewise recently lost their jobs. It’s numbing enough of an experience to lose one’s job, but one of them suffered the ultimate “surely it only happens on TV” injustice of being informed of his termination and being immediately escorted by security personnel off the business premises — all within the span of a few minutes (allegedly in case he might be tempted to exact revenge by taking company secrets out with him).

On many, if not most days, it’s very difficult to find a silver lining in jobless misery. Yet, I have found one thing, one simple exercise, if it can be called that, which believe it or not does help a little in staving off a sometimes near overwhelming case of the blues. As many of you know, even the smallest or temporary of positive emotions help in re-engaging life and the pursuit of happiness/meaning.

The act is simply this: Each time you receive a customary rejection letter, or as likely in this present recessionary climate, each time your application (which you spent one, likely several hours of your time and effort on) goes unacknowledged and forever unanswered by an organization or company that didn’t deserve you anyway, try to picture some kind, and needier-than-you person receiving word s/he got the job.

Verbalize your thankfulness, hell, even celebratory clap your hands if you want — even if it is just to yourself (WARNING: If you’re really getting down and into your solo celebration, thinking no one’s watching, be certain someone is — see the last 15-seconds of Sara Bareilles’ music video “Gonna Get Over You” as evidence).

The point is: Just go through the motions and the effort of being thankful that at least one job seeker is a happier, less discouraged individual.

A case in point: Last week I met a woman who was a recent, I’m imagining mid-level management hire. Come to find out she’s a divorcee and single parent of three young boys. Even without knowing any details of her family’s financial/economic status, you can be sure of one thing: With three boys she’s a struggling to keep it together single parent.

If I had been a competitor for her recent job, I would find some consolation knowing she got the job, and not some freak big penis jerk like Andrew (Allen Covert), in the Adam Sandler movie Anger Management.

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